A Year of Becoming: 5 Things I’ve Learned While Healing

This past year has been a quiet revolution inside of me. Healing didn’t come all at once, and it didn’t come with loud wins or external achievements. It came in moments of stillness, discomfort, clarity, and deep redefinition. Here are five truths I’ve uncovered through this journey:

1. I’m not in search of happiness. I’m in search of peace.

For the longest time, I told myself: I just want to be happy with the life I’m living. And while that’s still true, I’ve realized that happiness isn’t the full picture. What I’ve really been longing for is peace. The kind that holds me steady through joy, pain, and everything in between.

Peace allows me to appreciate my life in its full, messy authenticity. It makes space for the hard seasons, the ordinary days, and the fleeting highs. All with equal presence. Without that range, life wouldn’t be as rich, and I wouldn’t carry the deep gratitude I do now.

2. I will never be fully healed or done becoming.

This truth brought me so much grace. For years, I chased the idea of being “healed” as if it were a final destination. But now I see that healing isn’t about being complete, it’s about staying in relationship with myself, over and over again.

There will always be parts of me evolving, softening, unraveling, and growing. And that’s not failure. It’s the rhythm of being human.

3. There will be days, weeks, or even months where I feel stagnant.

As a former athlete and high-achiever, this one has been tough. I’m used to progress being visible, measurable, and fast. So when I hit periods where I feel stuck, lost, or like I’ve taken ten steps back, it’s easy to spiral into self-doubt.

But these slower seasons, what I once labeled as “stagnation,” are actually fertile ground. They’re times of deep integration, nervous system rest, and inner realignment. Growth doesn’t always look productive. Sometimes it looks like stillness.

4. The reality of boundaries is harder than I expected — but absolutely necessary.

As someone whose default response has been to fawn and people-please, setting and keeping boundaries feels unnatural, even scary. I’ve often given others the benefit of the doubt, even at the cost of myself.

But I’ve come to understand that boundaries aren’t walls, they’re bridges back to self-respect. Every time I uphold a boundary, I’m telling myself: You matter. Your needs are valid. You don’t have to abandon yourself to be loved.

5. I am ultimately responsible for the life I live.

This has been the most empowering and confronting lesson of all. For a long time, it was easy to point to circumstances, relationships, or my past to explain how I felt or why I was stuck. But true healing required me to take radical ownership. Not blame, but ownership.

No one else is coming to rescue me, fix me, or define my worth. That’s my job. And while it’s a heavy truth at times, it’s also incredibly freeing. Because if I’m responsible for my life… then I also have the power to shape it.

The Ongoing Journey:
Healing isn’t about becoming someone new. It’s about remembering who you are underneath the noise, the survival patterns, the pressure to be perfect. If you’re on this journey too, keep going. You’re not behind. You’re becoming.